i give up

So, I really thought trainer guy was interested. Boy was I wrong. He gave me that look yesterday, you know the look, the one that reads you poor pathetic creature, I could never like you in that way. The guy will have sex with a woman who has a facial deformity, yet I repulse him (sorry I know that sounds awful, but I won't sensor my thoughts). As soon as I saw the look I pulled the lets forget about it face. And so, it has been forgotten, at least we both pretend it has been. I just can't believe I misread him so badly. I don't really buy it. My suspicion is there was so thought, but he is not contemplating getting back with his ex, who he is having dinner with this weekend. Oh well, his loss. Yet again I find myself saying that about a guy who does not want me. When will one ever want me??? Why do I even want one? Somethings gotta give here, b/c between the desperate job search, the diet that just does not work and the constant man rejection, it's just too much. Sometimes I still can't believe my life turned out this way. I made so many wrong turns. Why do I make such crappy decisions???? Till later.