The Boy

He called, he called. So excited. This is the first guy since my divorce I have been remotely interested in. There is a long story behind him, but can't get into that now. I am so happy he called. I thought for sure he thought I was too chubby and carried too much baggage to warrant another date. Hopefully I was wrong. That will not stop me from taking tomorrow's 9:30 AM (yes got the day off of work, woohoo) spin class and if I'm not too hung over Sunday's 9 AM class as well, b/c I think I am too chubby! I haven't called him back yet, that will have to wait till after therapy tonight. Don't want to have to rush off the phone. I wonder what he wants? I wonder if he will ask me out for New Year's? Not that it matter b/c I have plans and after a pep talk with my best friend L I will not give in and see him over my friends. He will still like me if I say no. Right??!! G-d I hate dating. Till next time.

The Gym

I feel like the gym is the central part of my life. not b/c I love going mind you but b/c I am obsessed (unhealthily I might add) with food. So tonight I meet with my expensive trainer who better help whip me into shape or otherwise I wasted my work bonus on it! What I would rather do is sit at home watching all 3 CSI's and eating peanut butter m&m's and sipping jasmine tea. But alas, that is what is making me so chubby. Plus, if I want the latest possibility in my life to be remotely interested in me I better lose some of the divorce flab. UGH, why could I have not been born with a great metabolism and a supreme indifference to food. I hate girls like that, in fact I hate people in general like that! I struggle a good part of my day with wanting to eat things and scolding myself for even thinking of it given my latest state of fatness. Ok, off to burn some calories (I hope).

Dating and more ex drama

Ah where to start. Well, I found out yesterday that my ex husband of 4 months has moved in with his girlfriend. This alone would be enough to set the stomach muscles cramping, but it is just the drop in the bucket. I have suspected for the past month or so that he may have been having an affair since the beginning of our very short marriage. I of course was too stupid to see it then. So annoyed about the whole thing. Plus, the woman I suspect was someone from work who he supervised (she was his intern basically). Obviously so unethical b/c he had to submit reviews for her grade. Can't prove that is who it is with, but I have strong suspicions that it is and that he was sleeping with her while we were married. I feel like such an idiot for not knowing. I am so happy to be free of him, but not happy about the fact that he left me with all the wedding debt. I know it in the end it's better b/c I was able to get divorced quickly and being free is more important then money. G-d I just hate that I let someone like that in my life. He is clearly a nut job.

Even with that little bit of drama life has not been bad. I have been dating which is kind of fun. Mostly guys not my type, but some who are. Of course the one I like may not want to continue, I don't think he can handle my past or any girl who has a past. He might be one of those guys who dreams of girl with a clean slate. Good luck to him, haha. I do have some other prospects, so we will see what happens. I did try the online dating thing again briefly, but decided it's not for me anymore. I only seem to meet weird guys that way. I guess I'll just have to hope people will set me up or I'll meet some guy magically on the subway! Anyone have any suggestions? Guess I should do some real work. Till tomorrow.